How To: Be an Industrious Napper

Napoleon Bonaparte, Salvador Dalí, and Winston Churchill were prolific, world-shaping men. They led coups, domesticated ocelots, and defended the West against the Nazis. Whence comes their success? Power naps. Which begs the question: Why does the common American work ethic have us believing that it is fundamentally counterproductive to nap for twenty minutes when science and history say otherwise? Here’s how to put the kibosh on workplace drowsiness with a solid, well-timed power nap.

Build a Nest

In a utopic world, I would live in the fairest forest realm of the Elves, and I’d nap on their hair. In the world I inhabit, however, my minimum prerequisites are freshly flossed teeth, a desk that hides my outstretched body, an eyemask, and a fan for white noise. Take your napping game to the next level with an OstrichPillow and BreatheRight Strips.

Set an Alarm

When done right, naps have the power to unleash your creative potential by 34%. Power naps should never be more than 20 minutes in length. Any longer and you risk waking up groggier than when you started. Instead of buying a bulky alarm clock (a dead giveaway that you’re sleeping on the job), transform your phone into one using an alarm dock or a phone stand.

Train your Body

Your body naturally wants to sleep after eating, so consider a siesta immediately following lunch. By sleeping everyday after lunch, you train your body to expect a nap and, thusly, you will fall asleep more quickly. What’s more, your routine may rub off on your colleagues. Then it’s only a matter of time until corporate spooning sessions.

Be Both Proud and Subtle

Prolific men don’t feel abashed about napping (Edison, for instance, was something of a naptime braggadocio). What’s the shame in enhancing your perceptual skills, motor skills, reaction time, memory elasticity, and alertness? There is none. That said, accomplished workplace nappers also don’t get caught. To wipe away tired eyes (without groggily staggering to the men’s room all the way at the end of the hall), try an energizing prepackaged facial wipe.

Arin Fisher

Photo: AMC

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