Today’s Game of Thrones unsolicited upgrade advice goes to...
Gendry, Promising Young Blacksmith and Illegitimate Son of the late Robert Baratheon
Given how streaked with soot and grime Gendry’s face has been every time he has appeared on the show, we were inclined to toss the kid a bottle of Ursa Major Fantastic Face Wash. But as much as we, of all people, hate to admit it, cleanliness isn’t a top priority for this guy right now. He isn’t clocking any hours forging and hammering steel these days. With King Joffrey ordering the death of all the illegitimate children of Robert Baratheon, Gendry is on the run. And now that his former master, Tobho Mott, has given up his whereabouts, he’ll need a disguise to wear while traveling the Kingsroad with Arya. It won’t hide the blood relation to the king that Gendry has written on his own face, but Oribe Original Pomade will help him shape his hair into an entirely unrecognizable and edgy new coif. It’s got a really strong hold but remains malleable throughout the day, making it perfect for gravity-defying hairstyles. Even if it gets squashed under his custom bull helmet, he can just tousle it anew. But be forewarned, young Gendry: don’t get too obsessed with your own hair. It won’t fly once your stationed on the wall with the Night’s Watch, as Jon Snow, deeply in love with his own curly locks, knows all too well.
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