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April 1, 2015

New Featured Box Lets You Grow a Beard Instantly

Update April 2, 2015: APRIL FOOLS! Wed never actually tell you to put glue on your face. But if youre serious about growing the beard of your dreams, just follow our 30-day plan.

How did we do it, you ask? Called the Mail-Order Beard Box, this exclusive kit contains everything you need to perform an at-home beard transplant:


Facial Epoxy: An adhesive so high-hold, you couldnt shave if you tried

Beard Weave: An easy-to-apply wonder with an adjustable trim and a natural shine

Bag o Whiskers: Handcut fillers to ensure that your mane is bushy, never patchy

Comb-In Dye: A highly potent chemical blend to keep your scruff looking natural

Beard Comb: A pocket-sized tool to train your new bristles as if they were your own

Sound shockingly easy? It is. The bearded-to-be need only slather on some adhesive and slap on the beard. Extra whiskers are provided for filling in areas where beard meets skin, and a comb and dye will help you complete the look.

Ready to meet your future facial mane? Its but one click away.


Kate Canary