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Drink · April 13, 2015

What Your Go-To Cocktail Says About You

The Cocktail: Martini

The Verdict: You're partial to class over flash, but that doesn't mean you can't clean up nice. You appreciate things that are simple, well-crafted, and timeless.

The Cocktail: Old Fashioned

The Verdict: Don Draper is your spirit animal. You like your drinks stiff but sophisticated, without any silly umbrellas. The only time youd be caught in a Hawaiian shirt is in Hawaiiand damn if you wouldn't make it look good.

The Cocktail: Daiquiri

The Verdict: Youre exacting and precise. Youre a true cocktail connoisseur who doesnt follow trends and knows that this simple tipple (not the frozen kind) is a true test of a bartenders mettle.

The Cocktail: Dark and Stormy

The Verdict: Your friends would describe you as a laid-back guy. Top buttons were made to be left undone, and you approach every day like it's 80 degrees and sunny.

The Cocktail: Rum and Coke

The Verdict: College was the best wasnt it? Youre still wearing the same jeans you did when you were 20, a baseball cap is part of your uniform, and you'll take a divey sports bar over a cocktail joint any day.

The Cocktail: Gin Fizz

The Verdict: Youre a bit of a dandy. You have a collection of pocket squares, your beard is impeccably groomed, and you can totally pull off a watch fob (with your grandfather's watch, no doubt).

The Cocktail: Cape Codder

The Verdict: You own a lot of polo shirts. Like, really, a lot. Also bow ties and madras shorts. The word summer is a verbi.e. "This year, Im summering in the Hamptons."

The Cocktail: The Boilermaker

The Verdict: If you aren't a grizzled coal miner, you probably wish you were. You wear a lot of flannel, own a pair of Bean boots, and live in a warehouse loft (or something remarkably similar).


Nathaniel Nagy

Copywriter, cold brew advocate, purveyor of handcrafted birthday haikus since 2009.