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Dating · April 29, 2015

Whatever You Do, Don't Follow Jake Gyllenhaal's Dating Advice

Before we begin, it's worth pointing out: Jake Gyllenhaal is not your average bachelor. He begins most dates with a serious A-list handicap, which means he can get away with some pretty outlandish thingstwo-hour delays, scraggly hair, impromptu speedboat rides to get the picture.

With that said, wealth, style, and a famous name only earn you so much leeway. In a recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, he revealed a first-date strategy that would have anyone raising an eyebrow:

I always bring my dates to my mothers house for the first date. I think thats a good move."

Guys, for the love of all that is just and holy, never, ever do this. It's hard to explain his reasoning for such an aggressive move: Is he crazy? Can he get away with it? Is "mother's house" a code word for his Christian-Grey pleasure dungeon? Our most reasonable explanation came from a fellow Birchbox editor, who reflected:

"I witnessed him on a date downtown once, and if people mobbed and awkwardly photographed me the way they did him, I would also take dates home to my mom, where at least the awkwardness would be contained and predictable."

Perhaps he's not so crazy after all.

H/t The Cut


Nathaniel Nagy

Copywriter, cold brew advocate, purveyor of handcrafted birthday haikus since 2009.